Feeling triggered? Here's why that's a good thing.

Can feeling triggered be a good thing?

What if these moments of emotional hijacking aren't our adversaries, but rather, opportunities for lessons, growth and chances to heal? 

Join me for this Thursday Thread where I unpack the ways in which triggers can potentially be harnessed as catalysts for empowerment. In the episode with Glenn Cohen on Tuesday, we dissected the nuances of neurological wounding and the seemingly invisible threads that connect our past experiences to our current habits and beliefs. In this episode, I pull out a thread specifically in regard to triggers.

In my own life, and in my work, I have seen how turning inward toward a moment of emotional discomfort can produce new pathways to learning and development. We have to feel to heal, after all!

This conversation doesn't stop at mere understanding — learning from our triggers is about taking actionable steps toward transformation.  Listen in as I share a moment from my own childhood that impacted my ability to use my voice, and how podcasting and breathwork have supported me in turning inward to unleash my gifts.

I hope this episode inspires you to embrace your triggers, using modalities like coaching, therapy, breathwork, meditation, or other therapeutic avenues to support you in working with your nervous system's patterns. 

This episode isn't about coping; it's about thriving through the very triggers that once held us captive.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Hi and welcome to Untethered with Jenless, the podcast that's here to help you break free, be you and unleash your inner brilliance. I'm your host, jen, and in this episode we're going to talk about how to make a trigger into a good thing. Let's dive in. Hey there, unicorn, it's Jen. Welcome back to the podcast. So thrilled to have you back here for this Thursday thread. It's a Thursday thread.

Speaker 1: 0:41

In Tuesday's episode we talked to Glenn Cohen. Now you don't have to have listened to Glenn's episode on Tuesday in order to get something great out of this conversation. I'm pulling some threads out of it that I think are really relevant to all of us who listen to this podcast really relevant to me. We're going to go a little bit deeper on those things. What Glenn does at a very simplified level is support people in healing their neurological wounding.

Speaker 1: 1:09

Those are the things that have fractured our nervous system at some point in our lives and led to behaviors that keep us safe but maybe are not necessarily supportive to us. In our adult years, a lot of these neurological wounds they could be happening all the time. We're getting little wounds, all the time we're making meaning of experiences that we have. Our nervous system goes into overdrive and these things get stamped into our experience, into our minds, our bodies and our hearts. If we don't realize them, if we don't see that, if we don't face them, if we don't experience what is happening there, witness what is happening? We're, of course, experiencing it. Are we witnessing it? With our conscious awareness, it can start to create habits and patterns of protection that might not be serving us, also can stamp in beliefs that we might not really believe, but our subconscious believes them because it wants to keep us safe. There's always that element of safety. It's a basic human need. Safety is so vital that we feel safe, so much so that our body tries to keep us safe in ways that are not serving us.

Speaker 1: 2:27

Often we get triggered. In situations where our safety, our protectors, in situations where our body becomes fearful and those protectors want to come forth and take care of us. That can feel very emotional. There's lots of feelings involved when we get what we often call triggered by something. There's lots of conversation about triggers out in the ether. I used to believe that I just need to avoid being triggered. I need to avoid being triggered. I don't want to be triggered. Don't trigger me. Those are some of the things that we hear frequently is that kind of talk about it.

Speaker 1: 3:12

One of the big shifts for me and I've shared this in multiple other episodes and then in Glenn's episode too that one of my mentors said never make a waste to trigger. That was such a shift for me because it's that realization, a very empowering realization, that when we are triggered it's a decision point. You have reached a decision point. That's something that Glenn was saying here, because he's saying there's a stimulus, there's a trigger, there's a little teeny, tiny, microscopic gap and then there's a choice. You get to make a choice. You have the trigger, you have the experience, you have the wave of emotion that is happening, the sensations in your body that are happening to protect you. You have this teeny tiny gap of awareness and then you have the choice.

Speaker 1: 4:01

So often that gap is so small. So here is what I personally believe and experience and teach is that we can widen that gap through nervous system regulation, through conscious awareness, through awareness of what those triggers are, through meeting those triggers physically in our bodies, by bringing awareness to it, by letting ourselves feel the pain, by letting ourselves feel the sensations, and meeting those sensations without judgment, grounded in safety, with compassion, with appreciation for them, with gratitude, by going in and witnessing those things, by witnessing the trigger itself. What is the sensation that came with this? That we can process them, that we can transmute them, we can change them, we can shift them, we can widen the window of awareness of when it happens. So next time it happens, it's like, oh, there's a familiar sensation in my throat and we can thank it and we can say I hear you, I feel you, I see you, appreciate that you're here, but I don't need you right now. And the more we do that, the wider that gap gets. That little, teeny, tiny. Maybe it's microscopic, maybe we don't even notice that the gap exists. Over time it can start to widen. It is so, so, so powerful that it has to start with us having awareness and then it really expands when we let ourselves go in and start to feel it. Now, everybody's not ready for this step.

Speaker 1: 5:35

Starting to feel our feelings, starting to feel sensations in our bodies, starting to do somatic practices, doing breath work, can be triggering in and of itself for a lot of people, and it's okay if you're not there. But you can start so simple. You can simply start by noticing it and taking a breath, one teeny, tiny breath. I notice I'm feeling activated, I'm starting to feel flush in my face. And let's even use an example, one of my favorite examples and this is one of my own neurological wounds. So we'll just dive right into neurological wounds. One of my big ones was when I was in second grade. Some of you may have heard the story before Sister Loretta Sister Loretta who it's funny because I've heard other people who have heard me talk about Sister Loretta say I also have a wound from that particular teacher. Sorry, loretta, but her teaching style was maybe not supportive to some of us, but I was one of those kids who was.

Speaker 1: 6:43

I would do everything to avoid raising my hand. I wanted to get things right, I wanted to know, I wanted to do the research and figure it out on my own. So by the time I raised my hand to ask you a question, I really needed this question answered. I had tried a lot of things and I had this experience where I needed to raise my hand, I had to ask the question of the teacher. So I finally get the courage, I get the guts to raise my hand and to ask the question, and she shut me down and made me feel so silly for asking the question that I asked. That imprinted on me. That imprinted on my body Whenever I would go to raise my hand again, I would break out in a sweat, my throat would close up, I would start to get brain fog. I couldn't think you know. When you would go around and people would say introduce yourself and say one fun thing about yourself, I would get in a fricking panic. I would get in a panic when we would go around the room in school.

Speaker 1: 7:41

I remember a moment in third grade, the very next year, where I used to love to read the paragraphs. When we first started learning to read in like first or second grade, I used to really love being like oh, I can't wait for my paragraph, I hope it's a long one. I used to hope it was a long one. I loved reading out loud. But after this experience I started getting really nervous. I started getting panicky. When it was going to be At my turn, I started getting really scared to speak and that carried with me until just a few years ago, y'all, before I started this podcast, I started clearing my throat chakra and doing breath work and doing all these things that supported me in regulating my nervous system and healing these neurological wounds, as Glenn calls them.

Speaker 1: 8:27

I would get physical, physically triggered in my body, my entire nervous system on red alert. You were going to be embarrassed, you were going to be shamed, you were so stupid. Why would you raise your hand and ask this question? All of these thoughts and beliefs started to creep into that moment and we all have these. Right, you might not be nervous about that, but there could be other experiences that you have that trigger you. It could be with.

Speaker 1: 8:58

Another thing we talked about in his episode was with our relationships with our partners. Joey and I got in a fight just the other day and I was so triggered I had to step away and I took a breath and I came back and we had a conversation, but even then, I could feel the pressure in my throat, everything saying no, no, no, no, no, no, and I was like, ah, this is the perfect opportunity for me to say yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, because my whole body is trying to protect, it is noticing the stimulus, inviting more openness into the gap so that we can make a more aligned choice for ourselves. So how do we turn that trigger into a good thing when we notice the trigger. We notice the tightening of the chest, we notice the closing of the throat, we notice the fire in our belly, we notice our palms sweating. I hope I'm not inducing all of these.

Speaker 1: 9:59

Are you getting triggered as we speak? Am I triggering you? Maybe my voice triggers you Probably not the podcast for you, or maybe it is If my voice is triggering you right now. But this is normal. There is no shame in your body reacting to things. That's part of the human experience. And what Glenn was saying is that it's actually an opportunity for you to grow. Trigger is a good thing. It's a chance for you to grow in some way, whatever that way might be. Maybe you are indeed being called to start speaking your truth to podcast. Maybe there's something there for you when, if you're getting triggered every time you speak, how can you grow there? Because once you do, you can turn around and help somebody. So if we turn and face our triggers, if we let ourselves feel it, we can start to expand that window.

Speaker 1: 10:58

So how do we do this? Again, it starts with simple, non-judgmental awareness. We don't have to dig in and deal with it and in fact, I think it's best to receive some kind of support there in the beginning, especially if things are really, really powerful that you are working through, to have a therapist or a facilitator or a coach or somebody who is able to hold safe space for you to really really go in. However, we are all experiencing triggers like this pretty much every day. Is it possible to go through a day without something, with just all clouds and rainbows and unicorns? I love clouds and rainbows and unicorns and I recognize that there's going to be little tiny things that don't go as planned and your body reacts to it.

Speaker 1: 11:52

So what we can do is, when your body does react to something say, you show up to a meeting or a session with somebody and you're running five minutes late and that's making you feel all kinds of things. You're feeling carried, you're feeling like you're not showing up at your best, you're feeling maybe a little bit tight and tense, and you come into this meeting feeling that way Well, notice it Really. Give yourself a second to notice it and say, ah, there it is. As soon as you notice it, it actually reduces the power that that trigger has, because it just wants you to see it. It really just wants us to take a second to say, ah, there you are, and then thank it. Thank you. Thank you for helping me to recognize that I might not be showing up as my best. However, I'm taking this moment to remind myself that all I can give is my best in this moment and that's what I'm here to do. So you can stop and notice it.

Speaker 1: 12:55

And one of the best ways if between that stopping and noticing, is to take a big, deep breath into your nose and exhale out through the nose with a long exhale. Feel into the surface beneath you, feel the support of that surface. So your body resting on the surface and the surface meeting you back helps you to ground, into safety, helps you to come into conscious awareness. You can also try one of my favorite breaths for shifting energy and, if you're really feeling activated, take two inhales into the nose and two exhales out through the mouth. We call this, in the style of breath work that I do, we call this the pulse breath, so it sounds like. So you can do a couple of those breaths. Feel into that surface beneath you.

Speaker 1: 13:55

Another thing that you can do, I'm layering, sprinkle, stacking I like to call it some things, so you don't have to do all of these techniques, but you could depending how much time you have, it might just be that single breath, it might just be feeling into that surface beneath you. It could be adding that pulse breath and then you can press two fingertips together and move them against each other. So take your index finger on your thumb and rub them so slowly together that you can feel your fingerprint ridges. There you go, feel the little ridges of your fingerprint. Do this for a few seconds. So if we take a moment to recognize the trigger, we take a breath, we feel into the surface beneath us. We might pulse breath to shift our energy and then bring our focus right here to the present with our fingertips Powerful, so powerful. Now we have noticed the trigger and we have shifted our energy and then we can acknowledge and thank the trigger. Thank you, thank you so much for being here for me. I am now consciously going to go into this meeting reset and aware and knowing that I am here to do my best. So the trigger actually supported you in shifting your energy. Thank you, thank you. Trigger. You helped me to see that I was blaring into this meeting without stopping and pausing and being aware, and we can do this with so many things Like let's use that example again of getting into an argument with your spouse or maybe your child does something that triggers you and you notice it.

Speaker 1: 15:41

Take that breath, feel into the surface beneath you.

Speaker 1: 15:48

Maybe that's enough. Maybe that's enough of a gap for you. Maybe you need to walk into the other room and give yourself 10 minutes. Maybe you need to really widen that gap for yourself and give yourself 10 minutes. We don't always have that, so sometimes just that breath and sometimes feeling that surface beneath us gives us the chance to say thank you, wow, thank you for this opportunity for me to have conscious awareness of my response that might not have served my child that I like to have conscious awareness of an opportunity for me to potentially grow and to shift my energy. Thank it, thank the trigger.

Speaker 1: 16:25

That's really what it's here to do. It's a child. It's just saying mommy, mommy, mommy, look at me. I have information for you. You don't feel safe, so you remind yourself that you are safe, you bring yourself back into the present and you're widening that window. The next time your child triggers you, you're going to remember hmm, let's take a breath, let's shift our energy. Let's make it about them instead of about me. I really loved what Dr Glenn said. It's not a doctor. I really love what Glenn said about that. When we make it about them and take the focus off of us, there is a way of relieving ourselves with that, but it's not what our triggers are going to tell us. They're going to say look at me, look at me. Once you acknowledge them, they calm down. They calm down. That simple acknowledgement.

Speaker 1: 17:19

Now, what I do with breath work, just so that we can layer onto this what we can really do with breath work and with Glenn's work and with so many other people, whatever it is that resonates with you, all of these modalities help to support us with this. We can go in and really let ourselves feel a trigger, really let ourselves feel the sensations and actually emotionally process those sensations. That is a whole different level that we can do in breath work sessions, that you can do in hypnotherapy. That's what we do when we go into those sessions, just if you had question about that. But what we're talking about is just every day simple what can I do to shift my energy in these moments? You can use your triggers for good, because that's what really what they're here to do so. I hope this simple practice was supportive to you and that you can use it in your daily life. Maybe give it a try today.

Speaker 1: 18:16

When something you feel, the sensations in your body, you recognize it. It could even start with a thought. Maybe you notice the thought before you notice the sensation. That's actually how this process works is thought and then feeling. But a lot of us can actually intercept it at the feeling state because we're like, oh, I feel really wild and then we can back it up oh, what is the thought that created this feeling? Some people, it's easy for you to go straight to the thoughts. So, whatever way is easiest for you to intercept it, think it, think the thought, think the feeling. Thank your body, Thank your mind, thank all of it for helping to keep you safe and supported and moving through this life in the best way that you know. How Really, really powerful.

Speaker 1: 19:02

So use a trigger for good today. Report back to me. I love to hear how that goes for you. You can reach out to me anytime. I'm untetheredjen on Instagram. You can also send me an email. Hello at genlistcom. Those links are always in the show notes where you can link out and let me know how this goes for you. I would absolutely love to hear. Thanks again. So much for listening. I appreciate you more than words can say. This podcast itself has helped me to move through so many of my own triggers and making friends with them and seeing how good they are for me and helping me to learn and to grow in new and magical ways. You just keep shining your magical unicorn light out there for all to see. I'll see you next time. Bye.